Today Is the Only Day

I've always disliked the saying "today is the first day of the rest of your life". It somehow implies to me that you're supposed to wake up one morning and start out on a life that is transformed from the life you had before - all achievement, prosperity and joy. It also implies to me that you have to have big objectives in mind.

To me, that's not what living a good life is about. The way I think about it, today is the only one of today you get, and what life is about is living right here, now. That to me doesn't mean cramming life with things, or activities; it's about experiencing life, with all its goods and bads, right now. I find when I think like this that I complain less - about what I have to do, or about the weather, or about not having reached some goal. The thing is to life this day as completely as I can and not let it get away - I need to be present for it and not miss it. This is the only sunset you'll see that is just like this; the only time the clouds will look exactly this way; the only time the snowflakes will be just this shape or the shadows fall just this way; and the interactions with the people in your life will only be today's. It's sort of magical and scary to me at the same time.

This of course does not mean that I don't think I should plan for the future or try to make changes; it just means that I feel that paying attention to today is fundamentally important.

Letting Go of Resentments

I think many people struggle with letting go of old resentments, or old grievances, often those from long ago or with people with whom we no longer have much if any dealings, either due to death, distance or time. I think clinging to those old things can be a cause of an inability to move forwards in life - too much time and effort is spent reviewing old problems, partly out of a sense of having been betrayed or mistreated, and in some cases partly out of a sense of guilt for not having prevented or avoided the things that precipitated the problems.

I wonder if there could be a ritual for this? It would involve writing a letter to the person or persons involved - a deceased parent, a sibling, a former spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend or friend, former work colleague, or whoever the person is that we need to address. The letter would be what we would say to them if we could, and if we were sure that they would listen. Then the letter would be put aside until the time was right, and then would be ceremonially burned. I haven't tried this exercise, but may - it seems to me to have the promise of helping purge old unfinished business that by its nature can never be finished any other way.

A Daily Walk

One practice I have taken up, and try to do every day, is to take a long walk either just before or just after lunch - usually about two and one-half miles, at least, but if I'm short of time I'll take a shorter walk. I find the rhythm of it very relaxing and invigorating at the same time. For at least part of the time, I practice some of the meditation techniques I'm trying to learn - body scanning and awareness, breathing into and then out of particular parts of the body, especially those which are tense, just focussing on the breathing, and also just allowing myself to be simply aware of what is passing in front of my eyes. I find this practice is very important to me - I am strongly compelled to do it every day - I think it's the combination of the physical and meditative activity that is attractive.

On a Whim

Sometimes, when we want to make a major life change - say in career, lifestyle, health or eating habits - we find that those around us, including and often especially those we are closest to who have know us for years - will pooh-pooh our intentions and needs as "a whim". This can be true even if the change we are trying to make is for our health and welfare. People who have known us for a long time can be inconvenienced, often a lot, by our changes. They also can oddly enough be heavily invested in us staying the "old us" rather than turning into someone else who they may find unfamiliar or even somewhat frightening. Our changes can also seem like commentary on their own lifestyles or habits. This can make change even harder than it already is, but that just comes with the territory. It's important, I think, to try to be as compassionate towards others who are affected by our changes, while still doing what is necessary for our emotional or physical health and well-being.

Bird Song

We are at the fulcrum between winter and spring - the light is stronger, and although there is still snow on the ground, the birds, those that were gone for the winter, are beginning to come back. This morning as I was walking, there was a small bird - I don't know what kind - singing in a tree. Its song was bubbling, carefree and beautiful, and suddenly I felt a moment of intense joy and peace.

On the Conditions for a Good Life

I've been thinking about what goes into a healthy, contented life - note that I don't say a happy life, since I think things happen that sometimes make us unhappy, but that this doesn't mean that our life can't be one of contentment overall.

For me, there are a number of things that go into this - I think each person may have their own mix of what is needed. First, I need to treat my body well. This means that I need to eat foods that my body is designed to eat - a very wide variety of fruits and vegetables, some protein - but not too much - beans, legumes, whole grains and some dairy and eggs, and some traditional fermented foods - yoghurt, tempeh, miso, and some beer or wine. I try to avoid all manufactured, processed or artificial ingredients - if the food comes in a package I want the bare minimum of ingredients and they need to be real foods, not lists of chemicals or foodstuffs, however "natural", that come from a factory - the mysterious "natural flavorings" or any of the corn derivatives (like high fructose corn syrup) are cases in point.

And part of treating my body well is keeping moving - we were not designed to sit still. Keeping moving for me also isn't about going to the gym and working out - to my mind that's a little bit like substituting one artificial environment for another - I much prefer to be engaged in tasks that involve exercise, and that involve being outdoors. I'm a big fan of walking - almost anyone can do it, and it costs nothing. I think participating in the rhythm of the seasons, and the changes of light and weather, is one of the things that gives life meaning.

I try to have a life that has a rhythm to it - with regular mealtimes, a regular bedtime and I'm almost fanatical about getting enough sleep. I'm careful about caffeine and sugar in all its forms - both of which in excess can disrupt these natural rhythms. I think as regular eating and sleeping get out of balance, everything else does, particularly mentally.

Staying focussed is really important to me - being jumpy and distracted does nothing to lead to a contented life. I try to do one thing, and only one thing, at a time - I think multitasking is a myth - it's just doing a series of activities which intrude on one another and where a lot of energy is lost in the transition from one activity to another. As I'm engaged in an activity, I keep something to note down other thoughts that may arise - they don't escape but I don't have to follow them right now.

I want to be intellectually engaged with my world - to have interesting and challenging things to think about. I try to avoid things, like mindless activities and habits, that lead to mental apathy. I want to engage with new experiences and learn new things, but don't want to just chase sensation.

I think for most people having time with other people to enjoy their company and connect with something outside yourself is important too. In winter it's easy to get away from that and nest with family, and that's OK too for a time.

When dealing with feelings and emotions, I'm working on accepting what I feel, positive or negative - I think it's important not to try to drown out or ignore feelings. But I also think it's important to see them for what they are - momentary things that can be observed and then let go. This is an area of my life that's very much a work in process, and I expect it always will be. If we let our emotions and feelings become "us", they we're blown around by the winds of whatever we're experiencing at the moment. We have to remember that there's a core that is "us" that isn't this momentary experience or feeling - sometimes this is very hard to remember.

On Reading

Some further thoughts on how I'm rethinking my reading, which has been a big part of my life since childhood, are contained in this post and this other post. Reading has always been a big pleasure for me, but recently it has been turning into an area of "stuckness", where I was feeling frustrated with what and how I've been reading. So I'm making some changes, starting with what and how I read.